Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Squirrel Vs. Monkey

Who would win in a fight, a squirrel or a monkey?
It's a very simple question with a very complicated answer. Actually, there is no answer. Well, there is, but there's no right answer.
Mylla's friend Cupcake (the quarter brother) asked me this one time when I called Mylla. I said squirrel.
"But a monkey can fling it's own crap," Cupcake pointed out.
"But a squirrel can tear the monkey's eyes out with it's claws (this wasn't a voilent conversation, I assure you). Plus a monkey only has only so much feces."
This is an ongoing arguement. Who would win? I hold my beliefs on a squirrel winning.
Pros of a squirrel:
  • They can run really fast
  • They can climb things, including the monkey
  • They have sharp claws and possibly sharp teeth, but I have never stuck my hand in a squirrels mouth to find out, so I can't know for sure
  • They can run for a while
  • They never die (refering to the squirrel Scout in Ice Age)
  • They can throw their nuts
Cons of a squirrel:
  • They have virtually no strength
  • Once caught by monkey their screwed
  • If poop hits them they'll probably die
  • They might have rabies and die anyway
  • Chances are if they aren't killed by a monkey, they'll get hit by a car
Pros of a monkey
  • They can jump from tree to tree further than a squirrel can jump (unless the squirrel can fly)
  • They have a tail to hold things, and their feet and hands can also
  • If they grab the squirrel they can easily kill it
  • They can scream for their friends to show up
  • They can throw poop
  • Their smell might kill the squirrel
Cons of a monkey
  • They can run out of poop, which is basically their only offance
  • They can't outrun a squirrel, or catch it
  • From the looks of them they don't have exceptionally high reflexes
  • They might get distracted by their fleas, or their friends fleas aka a snack
  • They can't compete with a squirrels cuteness (in my humble opinion)
As you can tell, I am extremely bored.

1 comment:

  1. my brother wrote a whole essay in school about why squirrels are evil. it was very convincing. i say the squirrel would win.