Friday, March 20, 2009


The truth is a funny thing. Because, if you think about it, most people aren't honest. I consider honesty my most important value, but I was just thinking today, and I'm not honest. Of course, I don't go around saying I'm a billionaire movie star with a criminal record and I'm in a pack of ninjas, first of all because no one would believe that, and also because I have no real reason to. But if someone asks me "Hey, be honest, does this dress make me look fat?" and I take on look and am reminded of a giant sausage stuffed into a balloon (I am not making a sex pun) I say "No, you look great!" which is a total load of crap. But I know that even though she said "I won't be offended" I know she actually will, and will probably cry herself to sleep.
Some people will call this a little white lie, right? Well, I don't really believe in white lies. A lie is a lie, but some are for good reasons. Some things you just shouldn't say or tell people. And I think most people do lie in this context.
Then there is the second type of lie. This lie is for people who are in life-and-death situations, or something not quite that dramatic. Like, a teacher comes up to you and says "did you put that tack on my chair?"
"No, Mr. Leprosy, I would never dream of doing something like that." While you say this you are laughing in your head. Ha ha, sucker. This lie is probably the least common, unless you lie often or do things that will get you in trouble on a regular basis. But usually if the teacher asks you they already have evidence that leads to you, so it's probably just easier to confess in the beginning, otherwise you have to lie more.
"Really? Because I just watched you take the tack out of the board and put it on my chair."
"Oh! Is that your chair?" or "Oh! I was looking for that tack! Thanks for finding it for me!"
Soon you find yourself sitting in the principals office, explaining how you have really poor eyesight and you mistake tables for chairs, or how you got hit by a bus when you were a small child and you lose things easily.
Two hours later...
Your at home being yelled at by your parents for lying, trying to hurt your annoying teachers, and all that jazz.
The third final lie is the most common for people who find their life extremely boring and feel the need to spice it up a bit. I find this lie totally pointless and only used when people have nothing else to do with their time. It's  basically when (like my first example) someone says they are something or did something that they didn't actually do. There is no gaining behind this and can easily get you caught, especially if someone asks for details. So, if I were you, I would avoid those altogether.
Uh-oh, I must go. Chow.

1 comment:

  1. you are flipping hysterical, baby sister. i think you should end all your posts with "chow" cause it is "ciao" spelled wrong and has to do with eating food.