The Stalkers Guide

And the winner of the Tim Burton poll is......

Quad-tie between the Batman movies

Sweeny Todd

Edward Sizzorhands

and other (which (sorry I completely forgot your name) posted in a comment. Thank you.)

You're probably wondering why I labeled this post "The Stalkers Guide." Well, it's quite simple really. Just read the title and it'll tell you everything!

Basically I was rollin' through life and I realized that it is very difficult to know whether or not you're a stalker. Well, at least I've contemplated this myself on numerous occasions. And I've come to the conclusion that yes, I am.

Well, here's a little check list I've set up so you can see if you're considered a stalker. Keep in mind this is written by a 15-year-old girl in her Freshmen year of high school, so it's probably not as reliable as something written by, say, a college graduate or somebody who as at least studied stalkers more than a few episodes of Law & Order. But hey, this beats buying a book all about stalkers, which probably ranges from 15$ - 50$. So you're welcome.

Are you a stalker?

Check off everything you are. If you check off more than 8 then yes, you're a stalker.

It doesn't matter who this pertains to. It could be an ex-lover, a wanna-be lover, or just a celebrity. Even a fictional character (although some of these you might have trouble with if that's the case.)

Anywho, enjoy!

• You think about them constantly
• You've dreamt about them more than once
• You make excuses to drive by their house
• You stare at them when they aren't aware of it
• You picture your wedding day with them
• You want to kill them and/or kidnap them
• You don't consider yourself a stalker
• You imagine yourself if the Saw movies with them
• You get really frustrated when they ignore you or talk to somebody else
• You're extremely jealous of everybody close to them
• You do stupid things to get their attention
• They're scared of you
• When you kiss somebody else you're pretending you're kissing them
• You picture them standing next to you when you're doing simple things, like answering the telephone or watching a movie
• You know what's best for them
• You laugh at all their jokes, even if it's a dumb one
• You hate everything about them because you know they'll never love you
• You checked yes to most of these for more than one person

Well, there you have it, the stalkers guide from a 15-year-olds perspective. Enjoy!

Sweeny Todd

You know what's a great movie? You guessed it, Sweeny Todd. Ah, I love it! Even though Johnny Depp is kind of old, he's still attractive! Especially when he's all dressed up in his Jack Sparrow thing, or his Sweeny Todd thing! The one movie he does look like butt in is Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I love that movie and all, but seriously, he is really creepy in it.

The reason I'm talking about Sweeny Todd is because I'm listening to the soundtrack. This song is... A Little Priest, the one where they are dancing around the Mrs. Lovettes Pie Shop, him holding a knife and her holding a bread roller thing, singing about how they are going to kill people and cook them in pies. Yeah, it's a pretty disturbing movie, but hey, that's Tim Burton for ya.

I have a band concert tonight (a school one, the band, you know?). I play the flute in it and our band sounds really crappy. The band is divided into two sections. The good section is called Wind Ensemble and that's where all the good players go. Their band is really good! Like, amazing! But our band... ha ha ha. Not so much. We're playing six songs, one with a harp! I really want to learn how to play the harp! It is so pretty! So I've decided that, after I move into my loft in New York City, I will get a harp and take lessons. The good band is playing a fifteen minute song, a ten minute song, and like, two or three other five minute songs. There goes my night, having to listen to them. No, it'll be nice. I like listening to good music. But I'm not going to eat until after that and it's already five o' clock.

Now I'm seriously just rambling. I really want to write but I have nothing to write about. Nada. ¿Como estas? That's Spanish. Skill! I'm on my second year of Spanish and so far I can say three words. Whoop-de-doo.

Ugh! I just had something to say and now it's gone.

Well, so I don't take up any more of your time with my pointless conversation with myself I'm going to go and... damn. Prance around the house in my pretty new shoes (courtesy of Tumble)!

Oh yeah! I remember what I was going to say, but it doesn't seem very interesting any more. And, ha ha, I just forgot it again. Ah well, that's life for ya.