The Stalkers Guide

And the winner of the Tim Burton poll is......

Quad-tie between the Batman movies

Sweeny Todd

Edward Sizzorhands

and other (which (sorry I completely forgot your name) posted in a comment. Thank you.)

You're probably wondering why I labeled this post "The Stalkers Guide." Well, it's quite simple really. Just read the title and it'll tell you everything!

Basically I was rollin' through life and I realized that it is very difficult to know whether or not you're a stalker. Well, at least I've contemplated this myself on numerous occasions. And I've come to the conclusion that yes, I am.

Well, here's a little check list I've set up so you can see if you're considered a stalker. Keep in mind this is written by a 15-year-old girl in her Freshmen year of high school, so it's probably not as reliable as something written by, say, a college graduate or somebody who as at least studied stalkers more than a few episodes of Law & Order. But hey, this beats buying a book all about stalkers, which probably ranges from 15$ - 50$. So you're welcome.

Are you a stalker?

Check off everything you are. If you check off more than 8 then yes, you're a stalker.

It doesn't matter who this pertains to. It could be an ex-lover, a wanna-be lover, or just a celebrity. Even a fictional character (although some of these you might have trouble with if that's the case.)

Anywho, enjoy!

• You think about them constantly
• You've dreamt about them more than once
• You make excuses to drive by their house
• You stare at them when they aren't aware of it
• You picture your wedding day with them
• You want to kill them and/or kidnap them
• You don't consider yourself a stalker
• You imagine yourself if the Saw movies with them
• You get really frustrated when they ignore you or talk to somebody else
• You're extremely jealous of everybody close to them
• You do stupid things to get their attention
• They're scared of you
• When you kiss somebody else you're pretending you're kissing them
• You picture them standing next to you when you're doing simple things, like answering the telephone or watching a movie
• You know what's best for them
• You laugh at all their jokes, even if it's a dumb one
• You hate everything about them because you know they'll never love you
• You checked yes to most of these for more than one person

Well, there you have it, the stalkers guide from a 15-year-olds perspective. Enjoy!