The Stalkers Guide

And the winner of the Tim Burton poll is......

Quad-tie between the Batman movies

Sweeny Todd

Edward Sizzorhands

and other (which (sorry I completely forgot your name) posted in a comment. Thank you.)

You're probably wondering why I labeled this post "The Stalkers Guide." Well, it's quite simple really. Just read the title and it'll tell you everything!

Basically I was rollin' through life and I realized that it is very difficult to know whether or not you're a stalker. Well, at least I've contemplated this myself on numerous occasions. And I've come to the conclusion that yes, I am.

Well, here's a little check list I've set up so you can see if you're considered a stalker. Keep in mind this is written by a 15-year-old girl in her Freshmen year of high school, so it's probably not as reliable as something written by, say, a college graduate or somebody who as at least studied stalkers more than a few episodes of Law & Order. But hey, this beats buying a book all about stalkers, which probably ranges from 15$ - 50$. So you're welcome.

Are you a stalker?

Check off everything you are. If you check off more than 8 then yes, you're a stalker.

It doesn't matter who this pertains to. It could be an ex-lover, a wanna-be lover, or just a celebrity. Even a fictional character (although some of these you might have trouble with if that's the case.)

Anywho, enjoy!

• You think about them constantly
• You've dreamt about them more than once
• You make excuses to drive by their house
• You stare at them when they aren't aware of it
• You picture your wedding day with them
• You want to kill them and/or kidnap them
• You don't consider yourself a stalker
• You imagine yourself if the Saw movies with them
• You get really frustrated when they ignore you or talk to somebody else
• You're extremely jealous of everybody close to them
• You do stupid things to get their attention
• They're scared of you
• When you kiss somebody else you're pretending you're kissing them
• You picture them standing next to you when you're doing simple things, like answering the telephone or watching a movie
• You know what's best for them
• You laugh at all their jokes, even if it's a dumb one
• You hate everything about them because you know they'll never love you
• You checked yes to most of these for more than one person

Well, there you have it, the stalkers guide from a 15-year-olds perspective. Enjoy!

I'm at School

Bwahahahahahaha. I am actually in my journalism class and the computers are f^cked up, so some of the blocked websites are unblocked, such as blogspot! Yey! But some of the things that weren't blocked are now blocked, which super-sucks, such as Yahoo. Seriously, yahoo is blocked. That's such crap. Why would we look up porn on Yahoo? Well... I suppose some people might.
I am so embaressed about life. You know how I'm columnist for my school paper, right? Well I published a really crappy column and my picture is next to it and everybody got the paper yesturday and it's been so embaressing because people keep mentioning it and UGH! It blows.
Journalism is really boring. I'm supposed to be interviewing Target and then I have to design an ad for them by tomorrow, but I don't understand why I have to design an ad for Journalism! That makes no sense what-so-ever. But ok, fine, I'll do it. Blah to you too.
So last night I was up until about midnight (mostly because I was to embaressed to fall asleep, cause you know how sleeping makes time fly by, yadda-yadda) so I was watching YouTube videos on my iPod. I watched episodes of The Batman, actually only one episode. I watched the one where whats-her-face became Poison Ivy and her best friend became Batgirl and beat the crap out of her, and in that show Robin's a child and Batgirl's a child and Batman is like babysitting them, which is pretty funny because Batman's supposed to be all macho and kickin' ass but he's surrounded by little kids. It makes me giggle. Hee hee.
I love my grandparents. They're so weird, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it really makes me entirely aware of why I'm so weird. I mean, there's no doubt about the fact that I'm weird. I quoted Captain Underpants in my first ever column for crying out loud! That right there is major dork-ism.
Anywho, I came home from school on Tuesday and my grandpa was playing the accordian. That doesn't sound unusually odd when I type it down, but it is rather random.
I dunno, it's hard to explain my grandparents. They really are wonderful people though.
Gosh I'm bored. Like, unbelieveably bor...e...d
IDEA!
Well, not really idea. I've been planning this but the plan is finally set in motion. Wait for it...
I'M PLAYING A GIANT GAME OF FREEZETAG THIS SATURDAY!
I'm excited. My friend is picking me up and we're picking up my other friend and we're going to play freeze tag. Mind you, this is no ordinary game of freeze tag. This is freeze tag with over a hundred people running around, freezing each other and tagging people. FUN! SUPER FUN! I only know three people who will be there and that is me, my friend, and my other friend, so it'll be weird with a bunch of strangers, but TOTALLY AWESOME EITHER WAY! I'm excited, you have no idea!
Well sense I'm at school I should probably go do something productive, like interview Target or get people to do a survey for an assignment that I don't understand in the least.
Ok, bye.

And the Results are In!

Our winner is (drum roll, please)...

Batman!

With a total of 66% aka 2 votes

Second and last place is...

Super hero hater *boo*

But that's ok. We all have our opinions and likes and disslikes. For example, nearly everyone I know likes snakes, but I hate them. See? So it's ok that someone doesn't like superheros. If everybody had the same views life would be boring. Who would we argue with to get out our frustration?

Oh, must go continue playing Vampire Wars on Facebook. Great use of my time, I know. Taa taa.

Also, sorry about the font.

Also, there is another poll up. Vote vote vote! (oh, and you can select multple answers on this one. And if you have another name you prefer just comment on the post with the results)

Coraline

I would just like to say that Coraline is the GREATEST MOVIE EVER!!!! Ok, that's a lie, but it's still REALLY GOOD! If you love Nightmare Before Christmas then there is probably no way you won't like this movie! Don't worry, I won't spoil anything here, but SEE IT IF YOU HAVEN'T!!! Especially in 3D if you have the option, because that is ten times better (mind you I haven't seen it in regular-D, but I would assume this). The 3D colors aren't all weird either, like in Spy Kids 3. They're actually normal. But everything pops out into your face. It's super neat.

It's a pretty messed up movie though. Like, it's not messed up like Sweeny Todd (also amazing!) but it's not a kids movie, at all. I was freaked out at some parts. I wasn't scared, like I've got to sleep with the lights on, no. I was just freaked out, because the movie is really freaky! Just watch to find out how.

The basic plot line, if you don't know so far, is that this 11-year-old girl named Coraline moves into this new apartment (the apartment is amazing because it's basically just a really big pink mansion that got divided into (four I think) different apartments). Her parents write about gardens and they're really boring. So is her life, basically. I would hate to live there. Then she finds this locked door and goes through it (still not ruining anything) where she meets her "Other Parents" who aren't boring and actually pretty cool. But creepy. And I'll stop here...

Actually, this girl is pretty freaking brave. She just wanders into this "Other World" like la-de-dah. I would have been crapping my pants (I'm trying not to say cuss words worse than crap because I don't want to get kicked out).

Tim Burton. Amazing!!! I would just like to say that he is making a new movie that is coming out in 2010 called... wait for it... ALICE IN WONDERLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!!!! SO EXCITED!!!!!!

I discovered this in journalism when I should have been writing journalist stuff but instead looked up movies. And then I discovered Alice in Wonderland!!!!! And guess who is playing the Mad Hatter! Give up? JOHNNY DEPP!!!!! AHHH!!!!! And Helena Carter (I think she has another last name, like has two last names or something, but I'm too lazy to look it up. It's just that chick married to Tim Burton and who is Mrs. Lovett in Sweeny Todd and... OH! I just realized a lowercase 'd' is like a 'p' up-side down! And that Helena chick is Belatrix in Harry Potter) is playing the Red Queen. I think that's the evil queen... I haven't read the book in a while. And Anne Hathaway is the White Queen. I really don't remember that character at all. BUT I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (as I've said repeatedly).

You know what? I think Tim Burton is THE best director every! Well, him and Christaphor (that's spelled wrong) Nolan (Batman! In case ya didn't know). Of corse, those are the only two directors I know. But I love the claymation style he does. Is he the only person who still does those? I think so. But I love the Corpse Bride (I really wanna learn the main piano song for that) and Nightmare Before Christmas. NBC (ha ha ha I didn't realize those were the initals) is my favorite though. I have the soundtrack and I love Jack Skeleington (ok ok I can't spell) and Sally. But her voice is too high-pitched so I can't sing along in the shower or whatever.

I'm going to go now. I have to practice piano and then babysit, then come home and either watch Chicago or Batman. I've been craving me some Batman.

The Batman

I can honestly say I'm completely obsessed with Batman. Everything about him makes me smile. Perhaps it's the fast-pace, the demented villians, or the fact that Christian Bale is the most attractive human being in the universe. And it's not just the Dark Knight (new movie). The comics, the cartoon, even the ones directed by Tim Burton. Everywhere Batman turns he brings happyness and joy.

I really think I need help to settle my Batman craze. There was a point in my life (which lasted most of my life) in which I was OBSESSED with Harry Potter, perhaps even more than Batman. It pretty much took over my head. So I should break this  habit before it takes over as well.

I think the best thing about The Dark Knight is The Joker. RIP Heath Ledger. He's so psycho, which makes him amazing, especially in his pimpin' purple suit. And I like how mysterious he is. You never know his name or where he came from. The only fact you really know is that his father was a huge dick. I think, personally, that his dad was a jerk and turned him into the monster he is today.

Ok, I refuse to discuss The Dark Knight any more. It has left my head completely. Instead I'm going to go make some hot chocolate and bug people on Facebook.